OP: Physical signs that she is a virgin?

Virginity for girls/women is the same as it is for boys/men.
Even an MD can not tell whether a woman or man is a virgin or not.
Anyone who tells you differently is telling you myths and lies to accommodate harmful cultural believes.

So there is only one way: ask her.

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:58

If you search the archives there is an article I wrote years ago in which I outlined a case about the culture of some middle eastern societies in which young women were routinely inspected physically by a village or neighborhood elder to learn if she was (still) a virgin by the fact of having an intact hymen. If not, the girl was shunned.

A television commercial recently aired in which the topic of discussion regarded the historic advances to the sport of tennis in which rackets were improved over the years, the condition of the courts improved, the speed of the game, etc., et cetera, etc. Even the level of intensity with which people involve themselves in a particular sport has increased particularly in western cultures.

It is no longer a given that a girl will have an intact hymen until she is married and is now on her honeymoon. Active sports like horseback riding, vigorous physical exercise and activity often will erode or tear the hymen. So, RR is absolutely correct. If you are concerned for some reason, ask the person in question.

Why is it important to know? What is important is that when the two of you come together and at some point in your relationship have sex, this first time is as as unique to the two of you whether or not she has had prior experience or not! As you grow older, have more than one relationship, you will learn that every sexual relationship will be somewhat different with each different individual you are with. It is of no importance that "your girl" be a virgin because in the overall scheme of things, when she joins with you for the first time, she will for all practical purposes be one because while we all make love in the same general way, each paring will be somewhat different requiring adjustments and thinking be made as the two of you explore and learn together.

dancingdoc2

Posted: 23 Sep 08:58

If the connection between you two is strong and the chemistry is good, why does it even matter?

g-dubz

Posted: 23 Sep 08:58

A "good" reason I could think of, would be to be especially gentle/kind/caring/aware/considerate/understanding/etc during their first time.

On the other hand; those are attributes that I still much value and can imagine many (wo)men do, after their very first time. Also when sex isn't part of a romantic bond. Believe me, it's quite disturbing when someone tries to treat a deflowered vagina as some sort of broken-in entrance.

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:59

If a woman still has her hymen intact the chances are overwhelming that she is "virgin." The absence or tearing of the hymen really tells us nothing because many (most?) women have no sign of their hymen by their late teens. Tampons, sport and an active life-style all contribute to its' gradually disappearing.

I recall when, at too young an age, a girlfriend and I became tired of being told that our virginity was sacred and we needed to protect it at all costs (religious fanatacism). Our adaptation was to get educated, get prepared and seduce our boyfriends. Nothing more to protect to the death. Incidentally, I was no different the week after than I had been a week before. We each became tired of sweating out our periods while the boys had all the orgasms and turned to one another for a while. Virginity is really no big deal, getting rid of it was a non-event for me and I have no idea why any male prides himself on "getting a girl's virginity."

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 08:59

Sorry if I'm being rude to this piece of tissue, but I seriously dislike hymens. I was told that even an intact hymen isn't proof of no sex, because it's practically impossible to determine whether a hymen is actually intact or simply was stretched (which is what it is supposed to do in most cases anyways).

I'd say conclusions based on hymens are questionable or inaccurate at best. One could even question if it's a real part of our anatomy. Even when it's not there it doesn't mean it's erodated, since Women are also born without hymens, Judges over here rarely accept evidence considering hymens nowadays, even when it involves children. In high school the hymen wasn't mentioned in our biology books. The only time the hymen comes up, is as a small deformity. Usually detected in young children as part of standard exams to make sure the vagina isn't completely covered. I guess the hymen would have likely disappeared from our every-day-language, if we hadn't been a multi-cultural society and thus regularly encounter those in need of education on virginity and all myths that surround it.

Either way; it certainly didn't cause me any worries having sex never even realizing I could be tearing a hymen that I didn't even consider having in the first place :)

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:59

I believe that this was discussed a few years ago - possibly off-line. At birth, the vagina is sealed, or nearly so. That is to keep all sorts of nasties out during our infancy and pre-pubescent years. The opening in the hymen grows at about 1 mm per year from birth until the beginning of puberty. During these years, the hymen is, essentially a piece of skin and nothing in the area, think vagina, has any elasticity. When the hormones kick in, the opening of the hymen increases more rapidly and the tissue changes characterologically. The "new" hymen is more like the vagina than the skin it was earlier. This is a big physiological reason that sex is a dangerous proposition for prepuberty girls: everything tears when a large object is forced in and death often result from internal hemorrhaging especially in cultures where this is not recognized. Once menses begin, the risk is lowered greatly but still there for a year or so. The old, sexist, gross saying, "If she is old enough to bleed, she is old enough to butcher" is not true. Physiologically as well as psychologically.

As adolescence continues, the vagina becomes highly elastic as does the hymen, if it has not torn by then. The hymen is important to an infant girl but only a possible pain in the ass, literally, to a late adolescent. Some hymens remain rather tough and require a bit if a nick to help the woman take a penis; others do not change to the elastic fibres at all and a more serious operation is required but this is rare. Not all hymen are perfectly annular" some have two perforations ot multiple perforations rather than a simple hole in the center. This often unknown to the owner if thee is no real resistance to penetration. The most noticeable part of this is the first tampon one inserts. Rather than stretching the tissue, there will be multiple small tears. If the woman continues with tampons, she will never know that she had a multi-perforate hymen. All in all, I agree with Red. By the time it can cause any issues, it is an irrelevant bit of thin tissue not to be missed nor mourned.

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 09:00