occasional sharp pains
Hello ladies,
i am kinda new to the site. i have checked out almost everything on this site. But havent ventured into the forum to much. Trying to help out my gf who isnt experienced. she wants to learn and to enjoy sex. But she is having problems. let me tell you about them.
About a year ago she had a problem where when we were having sex she would get sharp pains every now and then. so we would stop. she went to the doctors and they said she had an inflamed uterus. so she got some medication and it fixed it all. every since then she has been pretty turned off to sex. For different reasons but one main one is for that she is afraid it will hurt again. she has been away for work for about 2 months. but just last night she had a dream and was us having sex but when i went to insert my penis she said it would hurt everytime. i would really appreciate it if someone could help me on what i can do to help her get over this fear. There are other things that bother her, like her self confidence has been very low lately..i try my best to boost her confidence. stress is a big thing with her right now 2 she is very stressed out. im just trying to give as much info as i can. if anyone needs more info just ask. thank you very much
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Replies:
You have answered your own question: she is stressed out by work and experiences anxiety about the earlier pain returning. This issue is not in her abdomen; it is in her head - with good reasons.
It is your g/f friend that needs the advice, not you. She has got to decide to seek that help and follow up. The medication used for an inflamed uterus would not affect her libido. A complete gyn exam will rule out any physiological cause and is where this help would begin. Then, perhaps, a few sessions with a sex therapist to help her put the past pain behind her.
I respect your wanting to help but there is a limit to what women can hear from lovers.
Brandye
yea i know she is the one who needs advice. we have talked about her getting advice and talking to a sex therapist. she says she agrees but im not sure if when the time comes she would actually go through with talking to someone. she has a problem with getting wet too. but i believe that has to do with the fear also.she tells me she just wants to please me. i told her i apriciate that, but she needs to want to do it for herself too. so is there anything i can do though? little things that i can say to her or do for her? because she is going to be gone for a few more months. i have gotten her to open up and actually have phone sex. which doesnt happen often maybe once every week and a half. but she does enjoy it. im 23 and she is 25... we started dating like 4 years ago. she had never had sex until she met me. she had no intention of having sex and never masterbated. so i have brought her a long way. but she does say sometimes that she feels intimidated with me in the bedroom because she doesnt know anything and i know so much. i tell her i am learning new things just like her and try and make her feel not so intimidated. ok well i kinda was all over the place but i have been dealling with this issue for awhile now and wanted to get some of it out. so i basically just wanted to know if there is any small things i can do or say to help her..she knows i am writing to a forum board also and is fine with it. she is at the stage where she wants help. ok well thank you for the previous advice also.:)
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