I shall assume you are in the States. The CDC website has a complete herpes information section that is quite good and very understandable. Read it and discuss the issue with your doctor or STD clinic. Herpes is not the end of the world.

That said, if had sex with you and later found out that you had knowingly put me at risk, you would be history. Instantly. She must be told; it is the only ethical thing to do. Perhaps your doctor would discuss the situation with her.

Transmission is from active lesions. Problem is the lesions are sometimes active before you discover the discomfort or see them. If they are limited to the shaft of your penis, they are covered by a condom. If there are lesions among your pubic hair, these, too, can cause transmission and are not covered by a condom.

Only the doctor who is caring for you can get more specific and most will discuss this with partners.

Brandye

Posted: 30 Sep 04:05