I just found out that a family member suffered a miscarriage earlier this week. She has her mom with her, she married a 2nd cousin this past summer, so she is in good hands. I'm in Michigan and she is in Metro Toronto, I feel helpless.
I got the news from my 2nd cousins dad. The young lady, she's around 25, started dating my second cousin when they were around 14 so she is a long term member of my family in my mind. I am the oldest female, by blood, on this side of the family so the men have some questions.
She has to go in on Friday for a D and C, that I was able to explain to them. They wonder how long before she would be able to start trying to start a family again, and how long before her and her husband can even be intimate again. These are questions that the men have and they feel comfortable asking me being their blood.
Any help would be much appreciated and all will be past on to my men, as I call them.
smallestoftheclan
Posted: 30 Sep 17:59
Usually no sex for 6-8 weeks [no tampons either]. The doc will re-check to be certain all is healed; if there are no complications, about 12 weeks post procedure it's safe to resume trying again based on how long in the pregnancy she was & the reason for the mis.
Generally more couple wait longer due to fears of another.
sera300
Posted: 30 Sep 18:00
Only the doctor doing the procedure should be advising HER - not the scattered males in the extended family. She will be distended beyond anything a man can imagine, have various drugs pumped into her and will generally feel lousy for a while.
She should not even consider pregnancy for a few menstrual cycles and should not be using either iud or hormonal birth control during that time.
In short, leave up to her and her doctor and the men mind their own business.
Brandye
Posted: 30 Sep 18:00
Thanks Sera and Brandye. I think they came to me because they don't want to have to ask her, and like I said I am the female on that side of the family.
The young man who's wife lost the baby is my 2nd cousin. He and wife have only been married a couple of months, yet have lived together for about 3 years and have dated for 10 years. They met in grade 8, are now about 25 and never broke up once.
The young man's mother has past away, she was my cousin. She past just over 3 years ago. So there is her husband, who I have known for over 30 years and consider a cousin, forget the in-marriage crap, she has 2 brothers still living, and there are 2 more sons. Lot's of men, not a lotta females.
Also because I am far away, Detroit to Toronto, most of our communication today is thru email. So it's not face to face, and that makes them more comfortable asking me than anyone else.
In the email I got it said "she has to go in for a procedure on Friday". So he didn't even know what was going to happen tomorrow. I sent back a simple email giving him the info so that he could do a google search to read about what this procedure is and why it is being performed. I am sure that he will pass this info to his son, the husband. My family is close, we pretty much have no secrets, yet the men tend to take a step back if there is a woman to step up in a female issue. They don't abandon us, are great hand holders and the such.
Again I truly appreciate the information, and so does my family.
smallestoftheclan
Posted: 30 Sep 18:00
