The basics of BDsm and D/s
OK, Y/you are curious and Y/you figured you would read this post. Cool!
First thing to know is that BDsm stands for 3 pairs or words, namely Bondage & Discipline, Domination & submission and also Sadistic & Masochistic. This is the catch all title given to all things deemed kinky.
D/s just stands for Domination and submission. This all about consentual exchanging of power to various degrees.
The maxim used for BDsm is : "Safe, sane and consentual". So lets look at these seperately:
SAFE: Many BDsm practices have an element of risk so do all you can reduce these risks! Be sure to take your time, rushing leads to mistakes being made and accidents. Do not EVER take risks that Y/you don't need to take. Be sure Y/you know how to use equipment, and how to free a submissive quickly. Never tie a person up so tight that their circulation is effected. Learn basic first aid. Have a decent first aid kit handy and be sure that it is well stocked. ALWAYS use a safe word system. My preferance if for the "traffic light" system. GREEN means the submissive is happy, feeling safe and happy to carry on, AMBER means slow down or get ready to stop. The submissive is feeling close to their limit of mental, emotional or physical endurance. RED means STOP! Not stopping when asked to is plain wrong and can even be a good reason for a court case! If your submissive is unable to talk (they may be gagged, or in a trance like state sometimes experianced called "subspace") then take the submissives hand and squeeze it 3 times. they should know that 3 squeezes back means that they are OK. Learn to look for the physical signs that something is wrong as well. Skin colour, dialated pupils etc. Never enter a BDsm scene whilst under the influence of alcohol or drugs/medication. And Keep real life out of your BDsm play. This is no time for dealing with things that have upset Y/you!
SANE: To enter a BDsm scene without knowing anything about the other person is just plain crazy. Be safe, be sane, people! Can Y/you really trust that other person? If Y/you have any doubts or questions...DON'T DO IT! This applys to the Doms/Dommes as much as the submissives. Tops (Dominants) should be asking themselves "is this person mentaly, emotionally and physically healthy? Are they fully aware of what to expect? Are they going to cry rape? Do they have serious self image/respect issues?"
bottoms (submissives) should be asking themselves "Can i trust Them to respect me? Will They stop when i ask them to? Are they about to slice and dice me? Are they experienced enough to do this?"
Please, be safe and then the fun will be so much better!
CONSENTUAL: Mutual, volunteered permissions are VITAL! Do not assume that Y/you have an automatic right to do what ever Y/you wish. Discuss what will happen during the play scene and agree on everything that can/will happen. I cannot recommend doing a contract prior to any BDsm activty enough. Legally, they have very little use, but if everything is correctly discussed before hand then there should be no nasty surprises. Remember, Tops: Your "victim" is a human being with feelings, emotions and needs as well. they are NOT a peice of meat! Basic rule of thumb is: the more empathy You have for Your submissive, the better You will be at this.
Take time to learn the limitations of Y/your play partner, respect T/them and gain all the information Y/you possibly can.
Posted: 04 Oct 00:19