>... [EvilEvilKitten] Unfortunately for you, all of the above has happened enough times to make it an axiom and not 'virgin-bashing'.
Lol, that's just wonderful. Ah well, I've dispelled many other pre-concieved notions in my life, what's a few more?
>... [EvilEvilKitten] Career oriented - never stopped a guy from having sex but it did stop you - why?
Actually it did. A guy I dated in college, and another guy I was interested in potentially dating, both got really weird and nasty towards me after I landed a few internships they never told me they were after. Broke things off without an explination and never returned my calls. Ended up finding out from mutual friends.
>... [EvilEvilKitten] Wanting to travel the world - also never stood between a guy and enjoying sex but it did stop you - why?
I did this after two failed relationships and took a break from dating. I also had a few insecurities and body issues I needed to work through. I've since developed more self-confidence and learned to love myself.
>... [EvilEvilKitten] Hanging around people who did not pressure you either way - so what? Weren't any of them cute enough to stir something?
A couple, yes. Those boyfriends didn't work out too well: one was playing me because he thought I was "easy" and gave up after 3 weeks when I told him I wanted to wait to have sex; and another guy we mutually broke it off because he was graduating and moving back to Thailand, we didn't want to become serious. Two other guys I was interested in told me they weren't looking for a relationship at the moment because of their own career motivations. ONS/FWB weren't comfortable to me- especially now that most guy-friends have become co-workers and dating people I work with is a deal-breaker.
>... [EvilEvilKitten] Did it never occur to you that they were waiting for you to make a move? Probably not.
Yeah, I'm kinda dense with these things. It's a known problem of mine and I'm making efforts to get better at this. Ended up passing over a great guy wihtout realizing. :(
>... [EvilEvilKitten] Apparently sex was not important to you. So why is it important to you now?
I'm young, healthy, and I have all my other priorities taken care of, why not?
>... [dancingdoc2] For a woman, the state of the hymen can be a deciding factor.
I don't think my hymen will be a problem because I don't have one. Sex shouldn't be painful for me because I took my mother's, my brother's, and my bff's advice and bought a few sex toys so I could explore my body at my own pace, free from performance anxiety. It was great advice and I learned a lot of information to pass on to any future partners to make the experience more comfortable. The safest sex is the sex you have with yourself, right? :)
>... [dancingdoc2] Be honest with others, read the article and you'll understand why. I suggest that you also read the articles that discuss the how-tos of dating. In fact, please read every article in the Index whether or not you think them relevant.
Yes I have read them, it's good advice! Will be taking it.
>... [dancingdoc2] Lastly, consider that for you and the rest of the male population, masturbation is generally A#1 on our list of daily priorities; not so for most women. While making love may be high on your to-do list, making a relationship should be your top priority. Love and sex come later. Pressure to have sex? Try pressure to form a more perfect union, emotionally, before physically.
This is wonderful advice, thank you!
>... [Brandye] Do not forget protection!!!!
Oh yes- I'd never forget about this! A few friends I know an "oops" with a ONS, so it's made me especially careful and aware of STD/STI and unwanted pregnancy.
>... [Brandye] but did, in fact, approach it as you describe - a science experiment. Not very romantic but it got it done and the learning was wonderful. I actually knew more about how his body would function than mine would! Relax, talk to your doctor, get the Gardasil series and let it happen. You will know what to say when you know with whom it will be.
Yes ma'am! I plan to just go out there and have fun(with safety of course), especially since I don't have to worry about finances, my job, my home, etc.
Posted: 08 Oct 23:10