Orgasm with toys, but not with him
Ok, here's where I could use some advice! Not less then 6 months ago I finally had my first orgasm ever. I'm 26, mind you, and thought I would never be able to experience that. I experienced it on my own and was so excited that I had finally figured out what worked for me. It was a really good feeling, not over intense, but good. The only problem is for me to have an orgasm I have to have MAJOR stimulation to the clitoris. More than a few fingers or a hand can do. It consists of alot of rubbing with something rough and/or a vibrating toy. I had wished it would be easier to climax, but it just takes so much stimulation.
Here's the problem, trying to acheive an orgasm with my boyfriend is impossible! I'm not one of those women that experiences them through sexual intercourse, and I would hate it if the only way I could experience it is having to bring a toy into our relationship. I feel bad because every time we have sex he gets off and I get left hanging. Hanging, basically because nothing else works that he has tried himself. I'm sure he feels bad, but its not his fault. Is it worth bringing objects/toys into the sexual relationship just so I can get off too????
What do you think??
Tarabelle
Replies:
bring the toy, make it a joint effort.
Alway have him help you (when he is around).
He will enjoy this. Keep in mind that there is a small chance he will feel like he isn't a man because he can't get you off...
Now, here is something to try....
Since you found out how to get the O, have the O, and then have him do his thing.... See if it helps you.....
Some women are easier to have a second O once they have had the first (in the same session).
I know one woman I was with would just have Multiple O's, each time it would be easier and each time they would get more intense (so she said...)
Smuggler
I usually need a vibe on my clit to orgasm. I can't really from penetration sex alone.
An orgasm from both penetration and clitoral stimulation is way more intense than just a clitoral one.
Don't feel bad that some of us need a little extra "help".. its better than being left hanging.
The vibe I have is a Hello Kitty one, lol, its not intimidating at all and not phallic shaped... so that helps too.
Your B/F should just be happy you are climaxing and not just him. :)
demonbuttercup
Thanks!! hehe to the hello kitty vibe! thats almost too cute...I need to find a good one...one thats not too loud, that gets annoying and kinda ruins it. Something small but powerful. Well, I guess, my next step is to talk to him and tell him my proposal for trying new things. I think we would both be alot happier in the end, I know I would!
by the way, I just found the hello kitty vibe that you have online..i'm not going to get it..they're very rare! it says on this website that they stopped making them because people were having too much fun with them and it wasn't right being the fact that it was made by sanrio, which makes all of the kitty products. (usually for kids). They said you could find one on ebay, but its a second hand one. LOL! No way! Who would want one that is already used! that is sick! just thought I would share that with you...i found it rather amusing :)
Tarabelle
Tarabelle...I am the same exact way, as I think many women are. Clitoral stimulation is a must to achieve orgasm. I do really well getting myself off with my toy, but rarely use it to penetrate. I too was 26 when I had my first.(I too thought I would never achieve that:eek: )
Ask far as achieveing one with my BF, I have found that the best way for me(and damn near every time) is to be on top. The guy having at least some cushioning in the mid section helps. For me personally there are several reasons this works so well. First is postioning myself so that I get the clitoral stimulation along with the penetration. Another is that it leaves his hands free to caress my breasts, bottom, as well fingering my anus. Lastly, I think it may help that it allows me to be in control of what is feeling good and what rhythm I desire to go with.
Again, for me PERSONALLY this works 99% of the time. How can I not achieve orgasm with that combo of things?:D My only problem now, is that I am slightly bored with ALWAYS starting on top in order for me to achieve this.
Is he any good at cunnilingus? That's the only other way my man is able to bring me to orgasm. Usually, again because although my man is good at it, if something starts taking me there, I have control of my hips, hands on his head, etc... to make sure it keeps going in that direction.
Good luck and enjoy! I know once I started, I've never wanted to stop since!It opened up a whole new universe to me sexually speaking.:)
Gypsy
Consider yourself lucky - you know how to have an orgasm. One quarter of all women do not. I have had several patients in their thirties, with children, experience first orgasm. One, as old as 54.
The majority of us do not reach orgasm through penetration and thrusting. I, for instance have had very, very few orgasms that way; I require, as do most women, additional stimulation. If it takes a vibrator, teach him how to use it. And many of us are most receptive immediately after our orgasms. You get to go first and then take him in. Men poop out after orgasm.
Brandye