OP: sex & high blood pressure

That is high blood pressure. It is not yet disastrous. All the usual is recommended with regard to life style: diet, exercise, smoking, reducing stress. If he tests that high in a month, I would consider medication.

Sex? Not a consideration. Or you would then develop hypertension! Yes, if sex is relaxing, it can lower BP for a while. On the other hand, if it is a chore it can raise it. Not a few mistresses have had to slither from under an unconcious lover to call for an ambulance.

Have sex; best for each of you and both of you. Ask again after the next reading.

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 08:12

Thank you, dear Brandye :) So I guess there's nothing to worry about (yet). I'll keep you posted on the next reading. So far he's already not keeping up with cutting on working late :( Sometimes I, and our friends, really don't know what to do with the guy... Whenever I tell him I'm worried about him, all he says: "I'm worried about me as well". But he doesn't seem to act on it... I should probably stop worrying or I'll just get myself ill...

O, and that scenario was exactly the one I was picturing! We've made jokes about it: whenever you choose to die on me, please don't die ON me... I know: a bit of macabre humor ;)

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:13

So, the next reading has been done: 215/120 :(
He's getting meds now, called: metroprolol. Supposed to reduce heart rate and open up blood vessels. I did a search on the net just now, found out he could get dizzy, have headaches, but could also be relieved from it (as it's one of the things he is experiencing now). In rare cases he could also experience impotence. Well, we'll just see about how that goes. For now, I think I'll just give up on having sex with him... I don't think he's interested in it and I wouldn't want to push him, I want him to focus on getting better.

I just hope, -maybe even: pray, though I'm not religious- he'll take it easy on himself. I've seen him doing too little of that for the past month... It's really hard: he's a grown man that should be able to take care of himself. I just feel like he's destroying himself bit by bit. Even though he's been on the brink of life a few years ago. Like he's not considering himself important enough... Or maybe he just feels like it doesn't matter; cause you could die any moment without any of it being your fault... I just don't know what to say or do to make him see that...

That's not the only trouble: it's really getting in my way physically. Stress is building up inside my body, expressing in nausea and cramps. Days like this, it's so severe I'm unable to work. I've been visiting my doctor today and he's telling me to relax, though he knows that's hard to do with the concerns about my bf, the troubles around my family and the difficulties on the job... There's 2 things I know that makes me feel better:
- Sometimes I exercise until I'm too tired to move, just to get rid of it.
- I feel so much better when my bf and I are intimate regularly (not necessarily sex)! It really relieves stress to me. It's what got me through all the troubles the first year, as my family was shutting down on me...
So only 1 out of 2 seems to be available. Luckily I'm a big girl, bit overweight, so extra exercise does not do me much harm ;) But I can't do that every day cause it's really an unhealthy way of exercise... In a way; I feel selfish that I'm simply getting ill of it all, while I should be focusing on him...

So, could anyone help me on how to make him see? And perhaps: on helping me to feel better myself? Any help or advise I would very much appreciate! :)

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:13

Too often the personality types who get into this mess require a real crisis to see the light and really make changes. The doctor could scare him silly with descriptions but it is unlikely he will do anything differently until he experiences the crisis himself. Ask him about male relatives. If they all went with heart problems at 52 years and 3 months, he should realize that without changes, he will, too.

Brandye

Posted: 23 Sep 08:13

I know some of his familymembers died relatively young, don't know of what cause... I'll try to confront him with it. But you know; he has been through a crisis a couple of years ago (nothing to do with his heart though). I've pointed out to him that for a guy who has been close to dieing, he sometimes does not appear to really 'live' his life fully... Maybe that's a bit too heavy, maybe not heavy enough... He was a pretty healthy guy before (I didn't know him at the time, but from photographs and his friends I know). Maybe he feels like it didn't get him far; cause part of his body simply turned on him without warning... He's really not the dramatic kind of guy, but it could be something is eating him deep down (expression here: shallow waters have deep dark pits) Or maybe: he's simply denying how his body can't handle it all. I'll talk to him...

RedRoses

Posted: 23 Sep 08:14