Is there a way to get my beau to be more romantic after intimacy? After we get intimate he always checks the condom and then goes directly into texting again. I really want to cuddle after but I have never been successful in doing so in the past 4 1/2 years we have been together. What can I do?
Intimacy is something certifiably different for both men and women, and from couple to couple. The gender differences in how we view intimacy are in general, fairly standard: women long for a physical interlocking and emotion-sharing bond while men tend to equate intimacy to more of a side-by-side sharing of experiences. While you are craving a cuddle-up post-coital snuggle-session, your beau is at your side texting away happy as can be.
Since the two of you have been together in a happy relationship for the past four and a half years, my guess would be that intimacy in terms of trust, togetherness, familiarity and closeness, exists. The way in which you experience the demonstration of this however is what is lacking. Just because it may be normal that your boyfriend expresses intimacy by enjoying being close to you after sex but doing his own thing, does not mean that you have to put your needs to the side and sit by and watch him chat it up on his phone. The only way to make progress here is to communicate! You say ¨I have never been successful, but have you tried talking to your partner about your needs? Passive or suggestive behaviour doesn't usually go far with men; in general you are much more likely to get a positive and productive response by being as straightforward and upfront as possible. I think your request is a very innocent and easy one to comply with and that if you are okay with telling him directly and lovingly exactly what you need out of the relationship, you'll be snuggled up happily in no time!
Posted: 17 Aug 05:02