Not into have a second round of sex in one session...
Hey all, I am 17 years old, and I have been going through this for as long as I can remember. It directly afftects my "sex" life(although im still a virgin, just referring to various acts). My sex drive is perfectly healthy I believe, but the problem arises after I lose my load by any means, whether it be at my own hands or my partners'. What happens immediately following my ejaculation is just a horribly depressing mood of apathy. I say its depressing because once I have cummed, it is over, I am no longer in the mood to continue however much I want to.
It doesnt seem right to me that it ends so abruptly, how do people go multiple times/all night? I have no problem getting it up afterwards, but the spirit isnt there anymore. I picture long, fun and passionate nights with my partner, however I know it cant happen because of these mood swings. It really throws a wet blanket over everything because my self confidence is ripped to shreds now. I have been single for sometime due to my own fear of getting involved with and disappointing a partner.
So im asking, could this maybe be a hormonal problem? Maybe its just me? If thats the case, its depressing. Thank you for your time.
Akuma
Replies:
Akuma, you are totally normal. I have had my share of men in my lifetime and almost all of them have their orgasm and then want to go to sleep or get up and have a snack. LOL
It is the rare man I would say that didn't need some time for his body to recover before he can go again.
Now, I do have some advice for you concerning pleasing your girl. If you orgasm first you need to stay with her and help her reach hers and be just as sexual and make her feel very special. Also, snuggle up and just cuddle while you both recover. Sex isn't just about doing it. It's about intimacy and feelings of closeness. So, enjoy ever part of it and accept your limitations. Have fun!
Tessie
There is a psycho-chemical explanation for this source of tension between men and women. Men want to roll over and go to sleep while women like to cuddle and play.
The male ejaculation is accopanied by a shot of brain chemicals know as endorphines. These are the chemicals that give great pleasure and are the source of addiction in some people. A large dose of endorphins leaves a man very sleepy and lethargic. Natural.
My fix has been to "get mine first." That is a woman tends to be very receptive right after her orgasm. So when I come I want him in me (vagina or mouth) right now. His seeking his ejaculation gives me the continuing pleasure a woman wants and when he comes and poops out, we are both happy.
If I want more, I continue very slowly and gently. Especially younger men recover quite quickly and are capable of several "cycles" in the course of a love making session. With you, I would just stay quiet, stay close and then address direct, slow, gentle stimulation of your penis.
Talk it out with your g/f and you will both be much happier.
At about your age, a girlfriend and I had a bet on who could bring their date of more between the movie and our curfew. We tied at eight times and that was in less than four hours. I am certain they both slept well that night. She and I giggled into the night and discovered we each had rather red, swollen labia! Her parents walked in when we had a mirror out but we got our long T-shirts down in time.
Brandye