OP: A guide to anal sex

Like most couples in a long term relationship me and my partner have experimented with Sex, and I'm sure like most couples when we talked about what we wanted Sexually we soon got on the subject of Anal Sex.
Anal Sex was a subject that terrified me but my partner was obsessed with the idea of doing Anal and even though we had attempted Anal Sex several times the pain was always horrific and I couldn’t find any enjoyment from it, well saying that the only time I had been able to ‘put up with the feeling’ was after a drink (really quite drunk actually) but I still wouldn’t say this was pleasurable, It was more of a ‘pleasure pain’ type of feeling and even with some parts of the experience feeling ok it wasn’t the experience to convert me.

The strange thing is that I actually enjoy Anal play and even though it was my partner that started off playing with my Ass during Sex I enjoyed it so much that i find myself sometimes asking him to play with my Ass when I’m about to come to an orgasm because the feeling is so intense when he has a finger/thumb in my Ass and I’m cumming.
This was something he would mention when we would be talking about Anal Sex and he had a point I guess. If I found Anal Foreplay enjoyable and exciting I should really be able to find Anal Sex enjoyable, and this is probably why I kept attempting Anal Sex for him (couples will do silly things for the partner they love)
So if Anal Sex was really something that he wanted (needed) in our relationship I said we would both need to do our research, what’s where I found this website and collected some really useful information. Also a friend of mine had some really useful advice and this is why I’m posting here because I’m hoping that if anybody else is having a similar situation this advice may help you the same way it has helped me?

Ok…. Here goes, this isn’t going to be an instant ‘I love Anal Sex’ guide but let me go through the stages me and my partner went through and hopefully this will help you

(Sorry for the stories I just find it easier to explain this way)
Step1
So.. With me already enjoying Anal Play I would start by saying try some gentle massaging (either yourself or your partner) during Sex, my partner would apply lubrication to my Anus area and with his finger/thumb rub (gently) on my Ass and my partner would say he could tell when I was enjoying it because he would feel me relax.
This is when he would start applying a little pressure on my Ass with his finger/thumb and if I was relaxed enough his finger/thumb would quite easily slide in my Ass, please note (especially men) this is not a time to start thrusting/penetrating the finger/thumb as this would hurt and it always made me more tense and if you’re not enjoying the foreplay you will never enjoy any of the further steps.
I always enjoyed Anal Foreplay anyway so then we got to the next stages of Foreplay which was toys.. Some couples do also try Analigus when experimenting with foreplay, and even though we did have one time during Oral Sex when he went a little lower than he was expecting this was something we wasn’t really that interested in getting involved with (it did actually feel amazing at the time, we carried on just that once, as he was already there so we put it down as new experience) Anyway…

Step2
My partner has used a small Bullet vibrator on me before (anally) but we decided to purchase a Plug which was a lot easier to insert and felt better because with a Bullet type vibrator it isn’t designed to sit in place and let you adapt to the feeling of having something inside your Anus, it was the movement of a vibrator that made me feel uncomfortable and tense up which then caused pain.
So with a small ‘Butt’ Plug purchased during sex (after the stages of him massaging my Ass with his finger/thumb) when i felt relaxed he would slowly apply pressure to my Ass (using the Plug) until the Plug was inserted then we would just carry on Sex as normal leaving the Plug inserted and removing once we had finished so to speak. I would prefer the Plug to be slowly removed as I was cumming because my mind was more focused on the pleasure I was feeling rather than having to have a Plug removed from my Butt (sorry to be so graphic)
We continued using a Plug during Sex for a few months before trying to move on to actual Anal Penetration and I guess the only way to explain how my body was working is that I knew what to expect so i found it easier to relax myself and was use to the feeling of having something in my Anus. I think the best bit of advice here is breathing, when he was inserting the Plug breathing out helped because (sorry its gross) it relaxed my Anus and helped open my Ass, when I would inhale it was clench my buttocks and tighten up which then of course caused discomfort/pain.

Step3
We were then ready to try Anal Penetration, in the past when we had discussed trying Anal we would pretty much go straight into Anal I would be nervous and he would just apply loads of lubrication and try inserting his penis in me.
This time we was more prepared and we started with normal Oral Sex (he went down on me) so I was relaxed and felt turned on then when I was wet and horny we started normal Vaginal Intercourse and then introduced the ‘Butt’ Plug as we had been doing for the last few months. When I was feeling like I was starting to get close to coming to an orgasm we changed to Anal Intercourse (because once I have come to an orgasm I feel too sensitive to carry on having Sex)
Me and my partner were already laid side by side (in the spooning position) and he slowly pulled out of my Vagina then removed the Plug from my Anus, he then started to push the head of his penis against my Ass and I reached back to hold him (hold his penis) so I felt more in control of the pace he was inserting, told him to add lubricant to his penis (it was easier to insert him when we lubricated him rather than cover my Ass in lubrication) then once again breathing out as I kind of rocked/grinded against him so his penis wasn’t actually inserting into me but was putting pressure against my Ass, I slowly pushed further back with each rock/grind until I felt the head go inside of me.
This is where I had to stop and just lay stationary for a few seconds and breathe because this felt bigger than a Plug I was use to inside me so I just needed those few seconds to adapt to the size and relax myself, added some more lubricant (on the shaft keeping the tip inside me) and then when I felt ready I started grinding my hips again not really taking any extra length inside of me just feeling the motion of the tip of his penis inside my Anus gradually pushing back a little further so a little more of his penis would insert into my Anus.
We carried this slow grinding motion on applying lubrication when needed until he was starting to feel close to ejaculation, and as we only had less than half the length of his penis inside me i slowly pulled him out of my Ass before he cum I then rolled from my side to my front and told him to masturbate over my Ass because. I didn’t want the excitement of him ejaculating inside me to cause him to push deeper into me and ruin the experience by hurting me right at the end.
He always liked me to spread my buttocks and masturbate over my Ass in the past before i would try Anal Sex with him so after I pulled him out of my Anus and rolled onto my front and spread my cheeks (sorry again to be so graphic) he was more than happy to cum over my Ass.
I then got a big kiss a cuddle and lots of thank yous.

This was the first time I had been able to have Anal Sex and enjoy the feeling and my partner was so excited that we had successfully achieved Anal Sex I of course got the most attention I’ve ever had from him in our relationship he was buying me gifts and a thank you meal out the following week lol.
I will admit he did still bring up the Anal subject a few times afterwards and we did successfully have Anal Sex again several times, the second time we tried Anal we pretty much followed the same routine as previously and started in the Spoons position again but then changed to me laying on my front and him on top of me (which this website calls ‘The Jockey’ position)
After we had done Anal Sex a few times my partner then stopped asking if we could do Anal again, instead we just occasionally do Anal on special occasions such as birthdays and valentines etc. There have even been times when I’ve felt so turned on during Sex I’ve directed him to my Ass and made the first move leading into Anal Sex. We have used this website for positions when experimenting with Anal and recently I have experienced the ‘Bent Spoon’ position.
Hehe if I’m honest he will be waiting a while before doing the Bent Spoon again lol, he will have to earn it with a really special surprise because the penetration was very deep, it did still feel nice but he will defiantly have to wait awhile before I try that one again.

I hope this information helps anyone else having the same situation I was having and ps
my partner and I have never been happier because its stopped him having to pester me into trying Anal and creating arguments, he now tries to get in my good books by excessive attention and gifts because I’m more likely to return the good gestures how he wants me to ;) if I feel loved, so we’re both seeing the benefits.

Cazza

Posted: 03 Oct 07:26

Replies:

The following "Ten Rules For Anal Sex" were taken from a post I made a while back on another forum... The feedback this post generated was very positive and I felt it would be nice to post the same helpful information here...

"One of the hottest new topics of discussion these days is the talk of anal sex and the "how to's" to make it a fun activity that couples can do together to spice up their sex lives a little. Anal sex can and should add a healthly variety to a couple's sex lives to make it richer and less routine. Below are my top ten rules for great anal sex and some links below them for some extra information. Have fun trying this great variation of sexual pleasure...

1. Anal should never be a spur of the moment thing, especially if it is your first time. Much planning and talking with your partner about this has to be done if the first experience is to be pleasureable.

2. When you have decided to do anal, make sure you do not feel the need to go to the washroom. Anal sex after a particularly runny or particularly solid bowel movement is best. If you try it after a somewhat soft bowel movement, your odds of a mess are a little more likely. If there is a bit of a mess after a few minutes of anal, just go to the washroom and do a bowel movement... A more runny movement after a few minutes of anal is more likely and will clean you right up...

3. Enema's can do a good job in cleaning the area... But I have never used them (when doing solo anal) on myself... Also of note is that feces is not stored in the lower anal area. It is stored above another sphincter about 10 or so inches above the anus. So a long period of anal can be done with no problem or mess...

4. Anal forelay is a good idea especially if it your first time. If it is your first time, (as like in vaginal sex) there is a chance it could hurt a little the first time as your anus is not used to this kind of stimulation and is "tight" the way your vagina was the first time. The good news is that the anus sphincter is a muscle and can "stretch" as if you were doing exercises, and the more you exercise the more acustomed this muscle will be to the activity. That being said, this muscle will not loosen... It will simply become more used to the kind of simulation involved in anal sex.

Analingus and Circular massage (with your fingers or a vibrator) with lube, as well as some well lubed finger insertion are some really good and fun anal foreplay activities.

5. Relax. Relax. Relax. The anus needs to be relaxed and you need to be in the mindset that you are going to enjoy anal. If you aren't in this mindset and are worried that it will hurt, your anus will tighten up... And it will hurt. But this can and should be painless even the first time. Anal is a very enjoyable act...

6. Lube, Lube, Lube. You need to have good (not the cheap stuff) lube in order to do anal... And a lot of it. My recomendation is ASTROGLIDE (at least for the initial penetration and the first several minutes) as it has an amazing consistancy (almost like precum) so it feels very natural, and is also super slick. It is also water soluable, which won't break down a condom as oil based lubes will. ASTROGLIDE is also readily accesable and can be bought at any drugstore, in the same section as the condoms...

7. Reapplying the lube... You will need to use more lube as the motion tends to use up the lube. Some complain of "burn" with excessive lube... Some have no problem using a ton of it. If you do notice a little burning sensation with the application of more lube, this is where the expensive "quality" lube comes in. Pjur or Eros (made by the same company) and Pink are expensive brands that are hypoalergenic and DO NOT cause a burning sensation. These lubes are great for using for additional applications as they have no burn, but I do not recomend them for intial penetration as they are not very thick (slick, gooey) and are not as good as ASTROGLIDE or WET for initial penetration...

8. Penetration. Go slow to start off and listen to what your partner is telling you... You may want to make little circles around the anus with your penis as a little forplay to loosen your partner up and get them in the mood. Let them enjoy them erotic sensation of the anal stimulation before that actual insertion. Proceed to insert your penis slowly; stop with just the "head" of the penis in if it is not sliding right in and ask you partner how it feels. You may need to apply more lube at this point. After well lubed, proceed inserting slowly. Some good first time positions are Doggy, Mish with your partner holding their legs to their chest, and on the side as it allows your partner to relax and just take the penis in.

9. Thrust slowly when starting off. If you get to excited and just start pounding away like they do in the pornos, then you run the risk of hurting your partner and having them not want to ever do anal again with you. Remember, that first time anal has to be done with as much care as first time vaginal. Keep the mindset that you are with a virgin again. Be very gentle...

10. Have fun. Anal sex is a very fun and amazingly enjoyable act for both partners. Women have a gland very similar to the male prostrate, which when stimulated can produce mega orgasms. Stimulate her clit while you are doing anal and experiment with different positions. Done correctly with care, anal sex can and should add a healthly variety to a couple's sex lives to make it richer and less routine experience. Have Fun..."

Sharde

Posted: 03 Oct 23:30


The heat that is created actually helps to bring blood flow to the area and help increase stimulation to the pleasure receptors in the rectum/anus.

Posted: 30 May 05:53


Very detailed! Super!

Posted: 16 Feb 14:17





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