OP: Are men more interested in sex than women?

I think the vast majority of women have a lower sex drive than men. Not saying all do, but why else is it that men are always chasing the women around, not vice versa?

CleverName

Posted: 03 Oct 22:40

That's a topic considered by evolutionary psychology...

One possible explanation is evolutionary motivations centering around fertility.
The fact that it's outwardly very difficult to tell if a woman is fertile makes it (evolutionarily speaking) advantageous to the male to get semen into her as often as possible. The possibility that she might be having sex also makes it imperative that he inseminate her often, so as to increase the proportion of his sperm inside her, increasing the likelihood that if she IS having sex with other men then any child she conceives will still be his, and carry his genes.

Now, the first obviously applies to the female as well, EXCEPT that since her behavior MAY be influenced by the same hormones which ebb and flow with her periods of fertility, she might achieve the same likelihood of conception while being, on average, less likely to initiate / be receptive to sex. (because she does so more at certain times)

In fact, some research has indeed indicated that women are more likely to initiate sex when they are ovulating.

The second reason seems to be valid only for men, because while a man can increase the likelihood that any child conceived by an unfaithful or non-monogamous partner will result in an offspring that is his by having sex more frequently, a woman cannot increase the likelihood that any child she conceives with an unfaithful or non-monogamous partner will be genetically hers; that probability is fixed at 100%.

Now, this all applies only to the effect that evolutionary imperatives have on our sexuality. There is a bit more to it than that, of course, and a woman may initiate sex or be sexually receptive with her partner simply because she enjoys it and/or wants to please her partner. Those two motivations are both, of course, highly variable from woman to woman, and so they may account for some of the variation that exists between the sexual habits of one person and another.

Pill

Posted: 03 Oct 22:41

what i find it is is that since a guy with a high sex drive is more socaly acceptable than a woman, and there will be men who have masive sex drives and men with small sex drives and same thing with women. i think it's just that in our culture a woman who is as open about her sexdrive as a man is shunned and looked down upon, my friend once put it this way, "men don't have higher sex drives women just know how to hide it better"

weasel

Posted: 03 Oct 22:41

I don't think men have a higher sex drive then women if you look at an individual's lifetime. When men hit their peaks we are not mature enough to handle it. We lose our minds in our attempt to have sex with pretty much anything that moves. On the other hand, when women enter their peaks they're more prepared to handle it. In many cases, women are already in marriages or long term, commited relationships.

Buck Naked

Posted: 03 Oct 22:41

It is a mix of biology and sociology.

A woman who sleeps around is seen as a nasty slut with low self-esteem who's giving it away for free while a man who sleeps around is only seen as one who follows his biological imperative to inseminate as many as possible.

But it isn't as simple as that.

In her 20's a woman is hunting for a mate/husband and trying to have her children so her drive is high. During her 30's she's too busy raising the kids (etc.) to think about sex much. In her 40's, the kids are grown and out of the house and her situation is changing with menopause and usually this means her sex drive ramps up tremendously.

In his 20's, a man can get it up easily. But this is not always the case after he hits 40. Men in domestic situations also have lower testosterone levels - meaning when he has a wife, his drive decreases.

Then there's the effect of history: if she hasn't had an orgasm from this man in 20 years of marriage - yeah - her interest in sex is none. Yes, it works both ways but few men have trouble cumming. Perhaps there was abuse early on that was not addressed. Perhaps there are medical reasons involved.
They could be perfectly fine now but since sex begins in the brain, well, they may equate sex with something painful or shameful.

But it may all come down to power politics: she has what he wants and will make him work to get it. She knows the kids are hers but he doesn't.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 03 Oct 22:41

A really interesting question is whether any kind of cross cultural trend could be established. I suspect it might, although it wouldn't necessarily be a monstrously huge effect.

I wouldn't underestimate the effect that evolutionary imperatives can have on behavior. It can be very striking. If some of the evolutionary arguments seem to not make much sense in the modern world, keep in mind that such behaviors evolved long before modern society was even a twinkle in the Renaissance's eye.

Pill

Posted: 03 Oct 22:41

Forget cultural approaches and follow the biology. The male body is a sperm machine. Beginning at puberty, the testes produce testosterone and sperm in vast numbers and the vas and prostate produce semen for most of the rest of the man's life. Much of this stuff is reabsorbed into the man's body. In most men, the production exceeds storage capacity and this excess must be dumped. This can be accomplished by nocturnal emission, masturbation or with help of a friend extracting the semen through a variety of techniques we women have patented.

The woman has no such imperative. We are born with as many immature eggs as we shall have in our lifetimes. We also have to learn to express ourselves sexually - almost automatic for the male.

We can validly say that the man has a greater need for ejaculation than a woman has for orgasm. Now, let societal norms and individual preferences take over.

I can assure you that I can drain any man dry. Women can be satisfied without being satiated; men can be satiated without being satisfied. I rather like my role in the whole scheme of things.

Brandye

Posted: 03 Oct 22:41

I'm more interested in sex and sexual relationships than most people I know. Most women I know seem to be downright prudish.

It also depends on what you mean about interest in sex. I have a great deal of "academic" or "intellectual" interest in sex, but can't generally be bothered with an actual sexual relationship. Too many unknowns, idiocies and complexities. I prefer pay for play and I don't play that much all things considered.

So I am interested in sex? Interested enough to pay hundreds of bucks a year for it a few times a year yes, but not interested enough to actually put up with most of the horse manure that I find goes along with a relationship.

That said, I can spend hours and hours reading about sexual experiences of others, discussing sexual politics, gender differences, the pros and cons of porn, sex stories, escort reviews, sex toy reviews etc etc. etc. ad nauseum every day.

Am I interested in sex? More interested in sex than the average woman?

You tell me...

wet_suit_one

Posted: 03 Oct 22:42

WSO - you're less interested.

Reading and discussing isn't anywhere near as rewarding/enriching/invigorating as actually doing it. This includes whatever BS may or may not be involved. The riveting of attention, the thrill of the first caress on quivering skin, the scent of his cologne as you kiss his neck - powerful stuff! The nuance of the dance is best understood and appreciated by experiencing it.

Actually, even the BS is educational.

Me? I am more interested in sex and sexual matters than most people regardless of gender. I find the entire process and the persons involved very intriguing - and so what if it doesn't quite make sense - that is just the joy of being human.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 03 Oct 22:42

I knew EEK would set me straight!

:D

wet_suit_one

Posted: 03 Oct 22:42