OP: Fiancée watching Tranny porn after promising he wouldn't...

Yes, you will never fully know the other...trust & respect are essential and both parties must be committed to making the marriage happy, workable, and staying regardless of what happens yet still wanting to make the others eyes light up when all is said and done.

The worst case scenario? Walk down the isle and end up in a bitter court battle over nothing--just to be free. You can eventually hate the person you once loved...as much as you learn [for a while]to hate yourself. When you pick up the pieces and raise to an expectation/level which you never dreamed you could achieve as a person...you made it. Then, you may or may not want to re-marry.

Fix it now. Take yourself, your future husband seriously, and the marriage. If it's not right; don't try to make it right--you cannot alone.

sera300

Posted: 05 Oct 08:41

I am NOT responsible for YOUR emotions.
YOU are responsible for YOUR emotions.

"It could be that be probably isn't" - sounds like a guy trying to weasel his way out of facing up but you, Sirene, are by your own admission, insecure so no one's surprised. Face it and 'fess up.

If you want gentle fluffy bunny - talk to the others who will be more than happy to pet you, stroke your ego, and make you think that you're "da bomb". I do not have time for that. You asked the question. You got the response - even if it wasn't what you wanted to hear.

Most problems are not only simple but are of your own making. Notice, I said most. I did not say all. Take the emotion out of the question, consult your inner self, and move on with living the life you truly wish to live without pretence and without apology. Most of the time you know what the answer/remedy is anyway.

EvilEvilKitten

Posted: 05 Oct 08:42

Hi Dawn ... do you not see the contradiction between the 1st and last part of your last post?

YOU ARE giving him the guilt trip about watching pornography ... that he is doing it without you, & "behind your back" ... and (especially) the last part of your message clearly shows that you DO care about the content. Maybe he always figured that your response would be so negative and THAT is the reason he felt he could not open up to you about it.

His "admission" to being ashamed and disgusted with himself is almost certainly just his way of placating you - rather than a true reflection of his feelings.

Whatever problem(s) he might have, you have to try and be more honest with yourself about your own true feelings and how they are impacting your (and his) ability to deal with this.

Good luck!

ItalStall

Posted: 05 Oct 08:42

Heh...hahaha. This may seem VERY childish....but at the time it seemed like a good idea. My fiancé had just worked a 40 hour week (which is the regular week for me, but not for him....he usually works about a 20-30 hour week)....so a 40 hour week for him was 'exhausting". He came home Thursday night and went to bed. My client for Friday called and canceled....so I made it a point to "engage" my partner at exactly 2:00am that morning. I did EVERYTHING for him....and in the end I got him ROCK HARD AND READY TO BLOW!....and then I left the room....left him cold! I went upstairs to the computer room and methodically, "not due to an urge" began to look at porn on the computer. My very sore and very confused fiance came up the stairs and began to question me. Within 5 minutes...he knew exactly what I was up to and he did not dare to say anything more!
I think we are making progress! And if you are wondering why I just described the actions of a bitch so proudly....read the previous posts. I love him....but what goes around, comes around!....and sadly...it feels GOOD to leave him in bed!...I still love him though...but I like to see him squirm once in a while!

Dawn80

Posted: 05 Oct 08:43

Dawn80, I feel bad for your partner. If I were him, I'd drop you in a heartbeat.

cool macs

Posted: 05 Oct 08:44

Hi Dawn ... do you not see the contradiction between the 1st and last part of your last post?

YOU ARE giving him the guilt trip about watching pornography ... that he is doing it without you, & "behind your back" ... and (especially) the last part of your message clearly shows that you DO care about the content. Maybe he always figured that your response would be so negative and THAT is the reason he felt he could not open up to you about it.

His "admission" to being ashamed and disgusted with himself is almost certainly just his way of placating you - rather than a true reflection of his feelings.

Whatever problem(s) he might have, you have to try and be more honest with yourself about your own true feelings and how they are impacting your (and his) ability to deal with this.

Good luck!

ItalStall

Posted: 05 Oct 08:45

I am ignoring a lot of these posts and gaining great respect for a certain few. This is my first time posting any kind of personal information on a forum such as this.
You are right....I did not know what I should and should not disclose here. Other than the therapist, which we had to wait a long time to see, I really had nowhere else to seek advice on this issue. Also, there are some facts that I have not disclosed due to the simple fact that my fiance and I are in a very sensitive line of work....and I do not yet fully trust computers or the content that I submit here.
Although annoyed with some of the 'less agreeable' posts....(and you are right on that as well, I came here and asked for advice and I need to accept that some of it was rather harsh and pointless), I continue to follow this topic and respond as much as I can because I find it very helpful and comforting to simply TALK about this.
On the other hand, I did state in my original post that my problem was that I did not know whether to stay and help or accept that this is HIS addiction and leave. The fact that it is transsexual porn (although it does disgust me) is completely a surface issue. I do think I was quite clear about that.

Dawn80

Posted: 05 Oct 08:46