My Penis "runs out of gas"
Ok I need some advice.
As embarassing as this is, well I need some input.
I'm 20 years old, male, been masterbating once every day or two since I was about 13. This is just FYI.
Anyway, when i was 17-18 i dated this girl. We played around and had sex maybe once a week for a period when we got comfortable with each other. I'd say total times "messing around" (not always sex) around 30 or so ? Well 2 of those times in the beginning we were about to do it when I couldn't seem to get hard!! I don't know why. Well she didn't think so much of it, and i never had a problem after that. I am a horny SOB and i am always hard around girls and stuff.
Fast forward to my current girlfriend. Been dating her since Feb, and we have been having sex since March. We always use a condom. We banged all the time no problem. Well, about 6 weeks ago we were gonna do it. I was horny and i was erect, but then she left the room really quick and got a condom. She came back only to find that my penis ran out of gas. How embarassing. This happened again the next night when i put my penis in her with condom on. I just wasn't in the right position working it right, so I lost it. ####!
We had other problems other than that, so we haven't had much sex in the past month. I think maybe 1 successful time since than.
So a couple nights ago, we are at my place. Finally a day off for us and we can sleep in. I fingered her and she got all horny. I was really horny. Well i gave her an orgasm and we fell asleep. SSoooo in the morning we woke up fooling around again. Again, i'm hard and it's all good. She was stroking me for a bit, and asks if i want to do it. Of course I ALWAYS want to do it, so i said yeah. I busted out a condom, put it on, and started to go in and out a bit, again, wasn't stimulated RIGHT away, but before i could explore a different position, it was lost This sucks!!!
I try not to think of losing the erection in my head, but it is kinda in there. Is that what is causing me to lose my erection?!?! It's like I gotta feel if i am hard while i'm starting to work her to check if it's hard. Maybe that's why. I don't know. When i masterbate i can always get up. Hopefully there isn't anything wrong with me. I don't want viagra or anything at 20 BTW my penis size is slightly smaller than average, as i'm a smaller guy. 5'10" - 140 ibs.
Any advice? Thanks!
kevin82
Replies:
Not unusual. Now you are trying so hard and being so concerned that the loss of erection has become a self-fulfilling prophesy. If your girlfriend is not upset, take that as a sign that she has confidence. When that happens, have her try another approach. Hand, mouth, tickle, shaking - whatever comes to her mind. This will further build your confidence.
Men who experience this often have more "difficulty" in one or another position. Supporting yourself on top as you approach takes more energy. For some men, being on bottom shifts the control and this softens them. Talk it out and try different approaches.
This assumes that your penis is not sending you a message - that maybe this relationship is no longer a priority for you.
Brandye
I've had this happen a couple of times, for a couple of different reasons.
The first, was when i was just getting into sex, and the act of putting on a condom killed my erection two thirds of the time (major pain in the ass). That one we solved by switching birth control methods (we both know that neither of us has any std's).
More recently this has happened a few times, when we start having sex a second time, shortly after the first. If i don't get a fairly large amount of stimulation, it just goes limp. I've found three things that help, and here they are:
1) Find the muscles that control your erection (the same ones you use to stop pissing) when you feel yourself going soft, or while your putting a condom on, or whatever, clench these, and hold them. You will probably have to "work them out" for a while before you can hold them for any length of time (next time you take a piss, practice stopping it mid stream). These are the ones that the semi-famous "Kegel" exercises strengthen, do those anyway, as they after a while, make any sex better, for both parties.
2) Think about, or picture what your doing with, about to do with, or was doing with, your girlfriend (in turn you on the most, give yourself a imaginary porno to watch)
3) change positions. If your not getting enough stimulation, switch to something you get more in, missionary is one of the better ones for guys, though not so great for girls. Think back to porn, and try some of those (you'll probably want to try them before using them to combat loosing your erection, as switching and trying to figure it out isn't exactly stimulating).
I hope this helps!
--Bobnova
P.S. the hardest part is not worrying about the fact that your loosing the erection, which is the one thing you shouldn't be thinking about, naturally.
Bobnova