Alright, please bare with me, this may get lengthy.
I am an 18 year old virgin. I know this is nothing groundbreaking or anything to worry about, but there are some complexities involved. First of all, I consider myself to be a very sexual person, even though I have not actually engaged in the ACT of sex. I masturbate daily, and I enjoy romantic/erotic novels and movies, sexually-geared conversations with friends, and sometimes even pornography. I don't want to sound like someone who's mind is in the gutter. The way I view sex is mature, on an emotion level, and not at all comparable to a pubescent boy. I guess you could say I am very curious, prepared and hopeful for sex. (This is hard to explain!)
The problem is, I am extremely self-conscious, to the point where it has made me afraid to date perfectly agreeable guys that express interest in me. On the outside, nobody would suspect it. I have been blessed with a slenderly toned body and a face that I have been told could win America's Next Top Model. I don't want to sound egotistical, because I am anything but. Beyond all of my normal attributes lay the parts of me I have been hiding my whole life: my sexual anatomy. I know many women struggle with my first insecurity, which are "lips" that are larger than I would like them to be. I realize that everyone is built differently, but mine are extremely large, and I feel hideous when I see my southerly region in a mirror. My other insecurity is the other portion that men desire, my breasts. I'm okay with my size, which is 36B. I've come to terms with not being well endowed in that department. It's comes with my exercise. But the thing that makes me insecure about them is their shape. They aren't tubular, but when my nipples aren't hard, they do take on a semi-tubular shape. You wouldn't even be able to feel a nipple if you ran your hand across it. But when my breasts become hard, then they appear as normal as anyone else's.
Those insecurities really deter me from experiencing an emotional AND a sexual relationship. Whenever I am with a guy, all I can think about is his reaction and surprise that my parts would elicit when we would eventually have sex. For this reason, I have not even had a serious boyfriend. And, believe it or not, my doctor is the only person to ever see me naked. Not even my mother, sister, or friends have seen anything beyond bra and underwear. I avoid nudity at all costs.
Nobody really knows this about me. It's really hard for me to talk about, so that's why I am taking the first step by reaching out to an online forum with a great amount of knowledgeable people. I really wish I could just become comfortable with myself, because I know how sexy confidence is, and I know that once I become confident I will lead a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life. But it's easier said than done. If anyone has any sentiments or pieces of advice, I'd love to hear them. Thanks!
-Sarah
sarahj
Posted: 24 Sep 00:02
The vulva of women are all shapes and sizes...as far as your concerns you are harping on them too much. If greatly concerned speak with a female doc or Gyn. You will find most men do not care...and you body shape is fine.:)
sera300
Posted: 24 Sep 00:02
If your breasts are inadequate, most slender women are inadequate. Are we not all unsatisfied with our breasts? The more serious situation is your feeling about your protruding lips. There are procedures to correct his condition but they should be considered only in really extreme situations. There are plastic surgeons who will get right to it if your money is on the table. There are others who will operate only if the protrusion presents difficulty in walking or sitting or having sex. Any good gyn will seriously discuss this with you. They have all encountered the questions.
Those women who have suggested to me that their own lips are terribley large mostly are within the range called normal. I have referred others for consultation. Go to google and put in labiaplasty or labial corrective surgery, or some such and you will find many sites of clinics that do this procedure. More importantly, you will find many photgraphs that will help you put yourself in perspective. I doubt that you really seen that many up close.
If you continue to be concerned, ask your doctor for referral.
Brandye
Posted: 24 Sep 00:02
