Erection Problem - running out of answers...
I've posted a few questions about ED in the past after alcohol and being tired, but had a new situation this week. Reminder: I am 29 years old, 5'10, 150 pounds. In good health, exercise regularly, eat pretty good.
Here is what happened:
- I was not tired - well rested
- I had NO alcohol at all
- i had not masturbated for almost 48 hours
- To be safe, I took a cialis pil 1 hour before i def know it affected me cuz my face flushed up and had runny nose on top of that
During the make-out session i had a hard-on, but not one that i think was firm enough for penetration. Was not a raging hard-on at all. Still, was NOT worrying because i did have a hard-on.
Then i just started pleasuring my lady, went down on her for a long time. But during that time, my hard-on went away!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then she pulled me back up to get ready for penetration and erection was gone.
To be fair, i am not THAT attracted to this lady. She is ok, but doesn't get me as juiced as some other girls i have been with. Still...
Here are my questions:
Does anyone else experience losing erection when concentrating on pleasuring the other person?? (of course, no direct stimulation to your penis during this time)
I am thinking about stopping masturbation completely because i think that maybe if i stop mastubation, i will be very atracted even to girls who are not that good looking just because i am saving the energy. Is this true? If i masturbate 2 days before sex, will it still affect my sex drive?
I am really looking for someone to answer all my quesitons because now i am getting worried since today there was no booze, no late night, with a drug, almost no worrying, and still lost my erection. Please help.
goldenchild1010 10/29/2007
Replies:
yea man, i have been there. and trust me, it is something that just makes u depressed as i have been depressed over it myself and have tried EVERYTHING to make it work. here is what iv learned to help overcoming this MAJOR problem that iv had for a while
point a: relax your mind , concentrate on the PLEASURE not on your PENIS getting hard!
pont b: dont think tooi much of it.
here is something a japanese great warior once said, when you do something and you think too much of it, it will not go well. your shooting the arrow and if ur conscious of shooting the arrow, the aim will be off. if you just shoot the arrow with a "normal mind", the aim will be straight and you will be on the dot. When you play the piano, you think about playing the piano, the keys will be off but when u apply ur normal mind, it will sound smooth and natural. u shoud do everything with ur normal mind and things will go smoothly 10/10 times.
so next time when u have sex, dont think too much of it, let ur penis get hard naturally and focus on the pleasure part of it. how much u want it.
let me know
i can def help u overcome ur problem
HonyMan1999
I understand what you are saying but still need answers to my questions:
If I stop masturbating, will that help build my libido to the point where I will have no choice but to get hard with a woman?
How do you improve FIRMNESS? is there any way ? cialis does not work for me.
goldenchild1010
Well, you are 29; the male peak is at about 18. Reducing masturbation will give you a better supply of semen and sperm. It may also help with the fatigue of maintaining an erection.
There are two possibilities: This is psychological but it does sound like you are trying to maintain an erection beyond the limit of the strength of you erection mechanism. In other words, the prostate and valves get tired. You can talk this out with a urologist and will understand the whole process better.
Brandye
Have you been seeing a doctor about ED problems? I ask because you say you are using Cialis, I assume this was prescribed to you by a doctor. If you have been working with your doctor on this problem, I think that you should continue to go back to the doctor if the medication you've been prescribed is not working.
That being said, I think a lot of what you have described is very normal and that you are worrying A LOT over what is a very minimal problem. My BF does not have ED problems, but he will very easily lose his erection if he is not recieving any direct stimulation for a long time. If he is focusing on me, it's easy for him lose concentration on himself and his arousal. When he is finished with me, we just continue to fool around, kiss, or I will give him direct stimulation and his erection will come back at that time. Losing your erection periodically throughout foreplay is normal and natural, IMO. Even when my BF has not masturbated for weeks, he will still have an erection that comes and goes, if he is not being stimulated. He is 27 years old. Neither of us consider this abnormal.
I think your problem is a psychological issue, which Cialis and no other drug to my knowledge will fix. 1. You are hypersensitive to your sexual functions, and when you spend time worrying about it and thinking about it, instead of trying to enjoy the moment - that is going to affect your erection. 2. You are not very attracted to this woman, you don't have good chemistry with her, so of course that is going to affect your excitement level. Instead of trying to take drugs and force yourself into an unnatural state of arousal, why not take a look at your relationship and ask yourself if this woman is really the right one for you? Either try to make things work by creating more chemistry with her - doing things that you find more exciting, new positions, new techniques (NOT by drinking alcohol!!) or consider looking elsewhere for someone you are more aroused by.
katiebug
This is very helpful, thank you.
In response: yes, i have been to a doctor. He says there is nothing wrong with me but gave me cialis just in case.
Does anyone know if there is a way to harden your erection? Certain nutrition / supplements / physical exercises? Will weight lifting help?
goldenchild1010
Be careful mixing supplements with prescription drugs until you confer with your doctor.
It still sounds as though you are expecting an erection to last longer than your body can support.
Anything the body can do, it can do for only so long before fatigue sets in. The erection is maintained by two very small valves that hold blood in two sacs in the penis. ED drugs can halp these get an erection but there are limits to how long the body can hold the erection. In some cases, the men are better off to get theirs early and then work on their partners, although the opposite is the more usual solution.
As an example of limits, you can hold a pint for so long before your arm gets tired. When it goes to the bar because you can hold it up no longer, you have exceded your body's limits.
Brandye