Loving two people at once...
I think of myself as being polyarmorous.I'm a bisexual woman in a loving relationship with my male partner,and about to start one with a female who is also bisexual and has a male partner.I love my man,he makes me feel,safe secure and content.But he is very boring in bed.He is a very traditional old school lover,and isn't into kinky stuff or anal sex at all which are things I like a lot.My girlfriend is very adventurous and willing to try anything.I find her to be very exciting and she gives me feelings that I haven't had for a long time.I have never been with a woman before so I feel like I am delving into a forbidden zone.My boyfriend knows all about my bisexuality and approves of me having a girlfriend to experiment with.However her partner doesn't like the idea of her wanting to be with a woman,so she needs to see me without him knowing.My feelings for her are very strong,possibly verging on lust more than love at the moment.I have always wanted to be with a woman,but kept it to myself for many years,and never met the right lady till now.Neither of us want to leave our male partners,to be with each other on a more permanent basis,but we want to see each other when the need arises.Is it possible to love two people at the same time and what do I do if I find myself wanting to be exclusively with my girlfriend in the future.I don't want to wreck her relationship with her man.Nor do I want my relationship with my male partner to end.
Aphrodite_66
Replies:
I am totally with you! I do not know if it is really love with the second party. I would say it is a fulfillment of a lack of something with a person you like a lot which can relate to love! I am also married for 32 years to my husband which I love to bits and I will not want to end it at all! Because of a lot of reasons there is hardly sex in our marriage (coming from his side) Me in my early 50's realised that there is just so many years left to enjoy proper sex! I found a guy 12 years older than me, sort of in the same boat as me, not having sex in his marriage for the last couple of years, and we are enjoying each other to bits! We do miss each other, because you can not get enough of what have missed in the last couple of years, but it is a different kind of love. So yes, depend on the situation and why it is happening you can love more than one at a time.
dcronje
Thank you,I have been in a monogamous relationship in the past,and am very loyal to my partner.He understands what I need and accepts my bisexuality as a part of who I am.It was something that I could never discuss with my estranged husband as I knew that he would react in a similar way to my girlfriends partner.When she told him that she wanted to have a sexual encounter with a woman,he was disgusted and made her feel embarrassed and humiliated.Like me she has wanted to be with a woman for a long time and not acted on it.I kind of feel that I will be cheating on my partner even though he has given me the green light to be with my lady friend.Yes it would be a case of having something that is lacking from my present relationship.My boyfriend usually likes having sex in only the missionary position and although the sex with him is very good and he satisfies me more than my husband ever did,I feel that if I don't get with a woman now I never will.And I want to share things with her that I can't do with my man.It's a case of "damned if I do,damned if I don't".
Aphrodite_66
is your bf okay with this because he thinks he won't lose you to a woman? maybe if he did then he would be more nervous and maybe not as open and accepting. also you say that there could be a time where you would want to be exclusive with her, so that brings up the cheating feeling right?
i have no experience with this so take it with a grain a salt, but i don't think a person can truly love more than one person. you can have fun with others and care about them, but you can't truly share your love and feel the same as someone that gives themselves to just one. to me it seems only a open sexual relationship can work, but not with love. i think people are very selfish and generous at the same time because they want all of you but also to be able to give all of themselves to you.
big916
I think it's possible to love two (or even more) people in the same way. I mean; love for your siblings can be equal. Parents can love their children equally strong. With friends, it can be hard to choose one above the other. And so on... There are plenty of situations in which you couldn't possibly say who's your favorite. So why not in this type of loving?
I've posted this some time ago:
This subject makes me think of something: I recently saw a beautiful triple who used to be a couple (man and woman) and she is bisexual. She met a girl whom she really liked and they agreed she could have her as a girlfriend. He liked the girl immediately as well. It wasn't long before they both fell in love with her and she fell in love with them. Off course it was a bit confusing to all of them in the beginning. In our culture you may not expect it to be possible to feel such love for more than one person. They've lived happily together for years now and are thinking about having a baby (the girl that joined last becoming the biological mother). They really look so lovely together! :)
RedRoses
Thanks RR yes I do remember reading that.My girlfriend is happy to have my man watch us together,or make love to me whilst she is by my side caressing me.But she does not ever want to have sex with him.She believes that he needs to become involved in our relationship to some extent so that he won't feel that I am pushing him away.
A twist has occurred just now,my girlfriends partner read a message that I had sent her which she forgot to delete.He became very angry and she could not talk to me.I don't know whether she would come to me for support if he left her.But I'd hope she would.At this point I am not sure if our relationship will continue,as off now,we have only been talking and building up our friendship,aside from mutual masturbation over the phone.If she decides that her relationship with her husband is more important than that with me,I won't object.But if that happens there won't be another woman in my life.I could live with both my boyfriend and girlfriend in a triple if they could.My boyfriend and I have dreams of us sailing into the wide blue yonder sometime in the future,and if my girlfriend came too that would be wonderful.
Aphrodite_66