This is how I proceeded and encourage discussion whether supportive or against my approach.
Initially, I simply described how and why he was getting erections and reassured her that this was perfectly normal. Then, I spoke with the patients physician and was appalled with what I was told. The two older caregivers were difficult for him to deal with and did essentially what they wanted with respect to the patient’s urinary tract infections and inflamed penis. This was., at each visit they pulled the foreskin back, dabbed on anti-bacterial ointment and let it go. They “did not want to deal with that part of him.” When anti-bacterial ointment is on the skin for more than a few days, the skin begins to break down. They were actually making the situation worse and had instructed the younger woman to deal with his penis the same way. I asked the physician why he was tolerating this and his response was a weak, “They are the only home care-givers available.”
I suggested what I describe below and he said that a few ejaculations would be good for his prostate and likely reduce infection – but he would not give the treatment instructions.
I had the pharmacy tech in our clinic mix up a potion of Nivea oil and sulfa powder – what was used for infection before antibiotics were available. The two older women were told to simply wash his penis and dry it well. No more ointment of any type from them. I then discussed the treatment with the younger woman, described earlier, and told her exactly what to expect. On her four visits each week (the family provided all the care on Sunday) she was to apply plain Nivea twice and the medicated, twice. She was to rub it in well for at least twenty minutes (yes, he would never last that long). I explained to her exactly what would be happening and showed her a video of an ejaculation to emphasize the need for a tissue in her free hand. Simply, I was teaching her to jack him off along with the medicating. He would be getting four handjobs a week – better sex life than many men have!
Within a fortnight, the inflammation disappeared and his doctor told me later that he went for several months without a urinary tract infection. Other issues surfaced. I met the care-giver on the High Street one day and she wanted to talk. The CP patient, while she was treating him, had asked to see her breasts. This, I emphasized, was a decision she had to make as a woman. Was she willing? She said she had a sheer bra she sometimes wore to “feel more feminine,” “Would that be OK?” I again emphasized that he likely had never seen real breasts and that would be her decision as a woman and not as a nurse’ aide. And I asked her if she had matching sheer panties. Her eyes got very wide. She also asked if she needed to wear the surgical gloves when she was using the plain oil. I also suggested another variation would be to put the oil in a condom and put that on him while rubbing it in. She said she could not consider buying condoms in town so I walked across the street and got her a dozen. Then had to show her how to unwrap one and roll it on.
The family called while his physician was on holiday about pressure sores developing on his butt. I visited the next evening that Margaret was caring for him. He looked crest-fallen when I walked in with her until I explained that I would only be there briefly to check his sores. As the two of us transferred him from the chair, I noted that she was wearing no bra.
Brandye
Posted: 03 Oct 23:40
