Marriage - is he the one?
I am in a helpless situation and would greatly appreciate advice.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and I love him very much. Lately the topic of marriage has come up and It makes my stomach do flip flops. Hes was my first for everything and It makes me wonder if i am losing out. I have never been dissatisfied with our sexual relationship, but then again I have nothing to compare him too. Now my main problem is If we take a break to find out what it is like to be with someone else, will we ever be back together? And secondly, I know that if he ever were to have sex with another girl, I would be disusted at the sight or touch of him. My guess is he feels the same way . . . I know no one can give me an exact answer as what to do. But maybe similar situations? How did they turn out? Some possibilities? Suggestions? Thanks*
PlumMistress
Replies:
PlumMistress, there is no simple way to put your mind at ease with the question "is the grass greener on the other side of the fence?" and I think your situation is far from helpless.
I'm not sure that comparison shopping is all it's made out to be. Look, if you love the guy and you're happy with your physical relationship, what is the purpose of trying out other models? Are there better lovers out there? Probably. Are there worse lovers out there? Probably. I think you've answered your own question in a small way. You feel that you wouldn't be able to get over it if he was to be with another woman. That sounds to me like you have a pretty strong emotional bond with your boyfriend.
If you're sexually compatible, that's what matters. If you feel there's an emotional gap, then that's what your relationship should focus on, in my humble opinion.
?wiseman?
WOW!!
your situation is pretty much EXACTLY the one im in now.
ive lived w/ my b/f for 2 yrs now. he was my first everything including long term relationship. he had g/fs before me.
i also wonder the same things you do, but wiseman makes a very good point.
how i look at it is i am very happy now w/ who i am w/. they say there is that one special person for everybody. were we lucky enough to find ours our first try?
others search for years and years and never find that special someone.
my b/f is probably gonna read this and wonder if im having second thoughts.
the answer is NO!
i just sometimes wonder if im ready to get married... i mean im not getting any younger.. im 25 and i already live w/ my b/f so what's the difference right?
but theres still a part of me who doesn't feel like she's mature enough to make the jump. i guess i just need to finally grow up.
so i guess wiseman put it best. of course there are guys out there who may or MAY NOT be better lovers. we are both very satisfied w/ who we are with and why mess up a good thing, right?
besides, sex isn't everything. my b/f and i are best friends. we can always talk to eachother, we act silly together, laugh, have fun, comfort eachother when life isn't so great. what else could you ask for?
demonbuttercup
You are in a pivital point in your sex life right now and you need to think about it carefully. Sure there are lots of potentialy great partners out there and you would have lots of fun with them. However when you don't know what your missing you have only your experiences to draw from. This is the greatest way to enter into a life long relationship. If you want to be with him for the rest of your life then you will not have the distraction of compairing him to past lovers. It will make your bond with him even stronger. I often think back to my first lover and she was just fine. We learned a lot from each other and I believe that if we had married we would have grown as lovers together and getting to know your lover is what its all about.
Tommy Boy
I was in that situation.He was my first one in everything and we are married now.I found my "the one!".
And yes,there are always better and worse lovers out there,and for sure with them would be different because you don´t know them but after some time it would become the same.If you are happy in your relationship,if you love him and if you are satisfied with your sexual life than go ahead!No need for looking out something elese if you already feel good.Keep what you have!
flower