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OP: Feeling bad about myself

Does this sound right.

Well the thing is, im 21 and I feel so sad cause im single and ive never been kissed and im a virgin.
I know that im going to die a never been kissed virgin guys just dont like me never have and never will.

Having said that, ive actually been thinking recently.

The thing is im depressed and paranoid and have no confidence etc, ive been like this for years for various reasons, I mean I cover it up and act all happy etc but sometimes I just want to die etc.

And I hate myself, I hate my body, I hate everything about me.

So ive been thinking, I dont think im ready for a relationship, I know im like really old and stuff but I really dont think it would be healthy for someone of my mental and emotional state to have a boyfriend.

Itd be a disaster.

Id never believe anything nice hed say to me/about me, Id forever be wondering why he wants to go out with me, I wouldnt want him to touch me ( I just mean simply hold me or put his arm round me etc) because im so disgustingly grotesque. Itd be a complete disaster.

I hate myself so much and thats not a fit state of mind to go into a relationship with.

I have a friend, Russell, and he makes me feel so special and nice etc. but I cant bring myself to believe what he says etc and I wonder why he says it and I feel I dont deserve it etc. and hes just a friend! So itd be even worse with a boyfriend.
And Russell says (and this really makes sense and Ive thought it b4) it doesnt matter at all what he thinks of me and what he tells me, I have to love myself and think good things about myself, otherwise the things what other people say are pointless and empty etc .

I really agree with that and thought it a while back with another male friend (long story, but I realized that I should love myself and stuff and then if other people love me and say nice things about me itll just be a bonus etc and ill believe then etc).

I hope im making sense.

And another thing.

This is going to sound really really stupid, but...............I dont think ill ever have a boyfriend or if I get one hell run a mile as soon as he sees me partially clothed, cause im so disgusting and really really gross and horrible. I know ill sound really silly and daft and pathetic saying this but its true. I am so ugly its unreal. Im ugly enough with clothes on let alone clothes off. Its never going to go either. I realized the other day that if I loose weight like im trying to at the moment, ill still have a disgustingly gross body but ill just be smaller.
Im 5 ft 4 and I weigh between 11 and a half and 12 stone. Im a clothes size 14 or 16, clothes shops are so crappy though with sizes so it depends, I dunno what 14/16 is in US clothes sizes. Sorry.
If I get a boyfriend, hell never be turned on by my body and hell just dump me cause im disgusting, hell probably throw up and laugh and run away.
I was reading this article in a magazine today about couples and there were pics of them naked and they were talking about each others bodys, I just thought to myself "right thats it then, im DEFINATELY going to be on my own forever" , one of the guys was saying, .................blah blah she has a great ass, great breast, great this great that..............."and I just felt like cutting my arm open.
I know that I must sound like im completely crazy and pathetic and stuff and im really sorry for wasting anyones time whos reading this

Thank you for reading

Ill shut up now before I make people really mad

petrova

Posted: 30 Sep 20:35

Replies:

First off, stop reading things that make you feel so bad. Find magazines that are more suited to your build, your interests, etc.. Next, going to see a therapist might now be such a bad idea if you feel you need someone to talk to and help increase your self esteem. Become a member of a gym if you want to change your body, maybe this will also help change your attitude. You don't need to go all out crazy and lift weights, just ride one of the bikes for 20 minutes, take an aerobics class, something like that.

Just because you are 21 doesn't mean you are hopeless. I used to think I'd never be kissed and die a virgin, and well, that just isn't the case. I went through all of high school just dreaming about finding a boyfriend, I didn't even have a crush then, I just could not find a guy I liked. Then I went to college and well, I found so many guys and I actually had to pick which I wanted! I pretty much avoided all the of them though because I was afraid and ran to my best friend (a guy) for comfort. Two months later I was in bed with my best friend, haha. I do love him, and can not imagine life without him. There is hope!

Maybe join a new club and meet new people, if you join a gym that is a wonderful place to make new friends! Good luck.

Shorty43

Posted: 30 Sep 20:35


First of all 21.....you're still a pup. You've plenty of life to live yet. Lots of it. You are very depressed. And I agree with you that you probably arent fit to take on a relationship right now. I've learned that you shouldnt need other people to justify you. You deserve respect, and kindness, and love and nuturing...from yourself. Once you gain that you will almost "look" different to those around you. Everyone will notice and you will glow. And you wont feel this way anymore.
Maybe you should see a professional. They really can help with/ or without medication.
When I was a teenager I was severely depressed. Self mutilated, drank like a fish, hated life, and myself. Man, hindsight's 20/20 right? But I'm telling you getting a hold of yourself and rebuilding your self esteem is the best thing for you.
Dont worry about having sex...you've a lot more to worry about. Get some help, and get better first.
Live Life.
Good luck.

Junocozmos

Posted: 30 Sep 20:36


petrova,

This may seem a little harsh, but cry me a river!
Everyone has problems of different kinds, and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to make things better. You are in control of your own destiny, so work towards making things the way you want them.

You currently don't have a boyfriend, so why are you worrying about breaking up with one? Really, there is absolutely no reason. Worry about this if or when the next relationship you are in goes sour.

If you don't like your body, do something to change it. Being in good shape is not easy, heck, I'm not in good shape either. But there is no sense in hating yourself. Start an excercise program, start joggying, eating healthier foods... Not only will you get thinner, feel better, but you will most likely meet people why you go out and do these active things.

The last thing that you need to work on is your "perceptual perception" I believe it called. You are seeing things in a slanted view because of the mindset you are in. Stop worrying about other people for now, and try to make yourself happy. Once you find comfort with yourself, and stop thinking that everyone hates you, you will find out that there are a lot of people out there that would like to get to you know better.

Thinking Positive; works so well that professional sport teams have specialized trainers to help players learn to visualize what they are going to do before they do it.

cool macs

Posted: 30 Sep 20:36


Huh...i also had that problem ,or let's say i have it still a little bit
I have boyfriend and he likes big tits but...yes,you guessed right,i have VERY small tits!
But when we met he couldn't know that and he said it is not important if i have them small,big or i don't have them at all.It is important that we two have chemistry between and that is repairing my self-confidence step by step.
I wanted to say that you should start working on your body and with every step you will start being happier with your body and your self-confidence will go higher,but believe me,if you say you are SO fat,there are guys who like very fat girls
It is just important what you want,do you want to stay fat and go through hell of accepting yourself as you are or try working on your body and meet ppl with same problems like you?!

flower

Posted: 30 Sep 20:36


> I hate myself so much and thats not a fit state of mind to go into a relationship with.

Instead of avoiding a relationship, why not change your state of mind? You sound severely depressed. Seeing a therapist may help. This doesn't mean your crazy--most people need a brain tune-up once in a while.

Posted: 30 Sep 20:36




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