Infidelity can devastate a relationship. The steps that you took to make your relationship “stronger than it was previously” may come in handy in addressing your current concern. Whatever dynamic the two of you have that prevented her from being up front and honest may give you insight into the reason she got so freaky with her lover.
Without knowing her side of the story, we can only make assumptions about her behavior. Her performing those sexual acts could have been because she felt more comfortable doing them with a stranger. It may be simply because her lover’s ejaculate tasted better, or that his penis shape was more conducive to anal sex. Maybe she perceives anal and swallowing as acts that are suitable for a naughty affair, rather than something you do with your husband. Perhaps she actually is comfortable with those activities, but is resistant to doing them with you.
Sometimes, when a woman goes outside of the relationship, she feels the need to be outside of herself. She might have been experiencing conflicting feelings about her relationship with you, but couldn’t bring herself to address them with you, or possibly, even with herself. People who go through emotional conflict sometimes find it easier to look to external sources for distraction, approval, self-gratification, or a way out. They also do things they do not normally do, which in her case, might have been the sexual acts that you’ve described.
Be honest with yourself … does the thought of her doing these things with someone else turn you on in some way? If so, perhaps discuss the possibility of Polyamory (more than one relationship at a time) or Swinging as an option? You’re obviously committed to making this relationship work. This answer may sound simple but it works; focus on cultivating open and respectful communication in your relationship. She’s already demonstrated that she has a tendency to avoid the truth, so she may need encouragement to be honest about her feelings. Consider an objective third party, such as a Sex Therapist, to guide you through this issue.
Posted: 17 Aug 18:59