You are laying beside your partner, feeling their naked skin caress yours. Their chest rises with every whisper of a breath. You can feel their warm lips against your neck, and all of sudden, the sexually enticing words rush through your body like a jolt of energy. Have you wanted to unleash that wild side of yours through dirty talking, but haven’t found the courage, or don’t even know where to start? Here we have gathered techniques to teach beginners exactly how to do so. There are tips for breathing, body movements, sounds and the actual phrases themselves. The most important thing about talking dirty is how you say it, rather than what you say!
For some, the first attempt at talking dirty with a partner can seem to be quite awkward. To eliminate some of that initial embarrassment, you should mention both the idea of the experiment to your partner as well as the limit of your desired kinkiness. The latter is created to help avoid a negative reaction from your partner in case you go "buck-wild" too quickly and cross their own personal boundaries. However, this chat should not occur directly before the incident; this could create massive unwanted pressure. Let’s face it – most people do not want be in the bright spot light when beginning to speak dirty.
Creating a sensual mood is an essential basic to letting that naughty side out of you. No, no - - put that Barry White CD down! The aura I have in mind could be considered a little peculiar, for it consists of a rhythm of breaths and body movements, rather than the soft music and candles, as most would expect. Yet you can also use those if you feel it adds to turning you on. This aspect is the most important part of dirty talking, because it is not what you say, but how you say it. You could say the dirtiest thing in the world and yet sound as sexy as an electronic encyclopedia.
Stabilizing your breathing is quite significant for it distinguishes the difference between speaking normally, and talking dirty. You should begin by imitating the deep breaths you take in the doctor’s office as he/she listens to your lungs. You have the option of breathing through your nose, mouth or both. If decide to breathe through your mouth, you do not want to form a large “o” shape with your lips. Come on, you are not a pet waiting for a treat from its owner. Instead your mouth should be slightly open, no bigger than the point of your index finger. This seems to produce a more appealing expression...
The speed of the breaths should co-ordinate with the progression occurring from body movements, foreplay or intercourse. If you are about to make sensual love, then the breaths should be slow, and if you are about to imitate a wild rabbit gone mad, then the breaths would obviously be faster.
After accomplishing a stable beat, you should be examining the sound of your respiration. Most importantly, your exhaling should faintly die off. If the exhale breath stays one tone, it could seem abrupt and almost forced. To help you visualize the sound of this breathing technique, picture a roller coaster. As it shimmies up the tracks, you inhale. As it pauses for a mere half a second at the top, so do you. Then as it coasts down the tracks until slowing down for the next hill, you make the initial part of the exhaling breath a little loud and then slowly become quiet. You may want to consider practicing this routine when you are by yourself.
Once you feel comfortable with this breathing technique, you can begin to make sounds as you exhale. These sounds should usually be instinctive and relaxed such as "uh," "ah," "oh," or "mmm." Here you are able to comfortably drop your jaw to widen your mouth if wanted. Do not analyze these sounds; there is no need to worry whether you are making a correct sound. If you unsure, a good rule is that you can rarely go wrong with vowels rather than some awkward consonant. For example, perhaps you choose the sound "bah;" you will ultimately sound like one very naughty, moaning sheep.
The trick with these sounds is that you are not being loud; actually you are being quite faint. The desired outcome is for your voice to barely seep out. Technically, this is speech sound articulated by a momentary closing of the glottis in the back of your throat, hence restricting the airflow. In laymen terms, you are making a murmur sound or a loud whisper. This is also commonly known as a “sexy voice.” If you are having difficulty reaching this volume, imagine being backstage at a play. All of a sudden, the main character draws a blank and completely forgets all his lines. It is entirely up to you to whisper the lines loud enough for the actor to hear, but not loud enough for the audience to hear.
To perfect the rhythm, you now want to add body movements. Desirably, the body movements should be in perfect harmony with your respiration; the body movement should begin and end when a breath begins and ends. As you inhale, your chest should ever so slightly rise in an upward and diagonally out motion. Naturally, your shoulders will delicately move backwards and your upper back should arch with this motion.
There are many different techniques for exhaling. You can simply let your chest, shoulders, and upper back return to their original positions. This can resemble a relieving motion. Another option is to add a subtle pelvic thrust. As you inhale, let your lower back arch so your pelvis and buttocks are being pushed outwards. Your abdominal muscles are being elongated. As you exhale, squeeze your buttocks and bring your pelvis forward in a scooping motion, from a side angle, until back to its original position.
To add some difficulty to these movements, try adding an abdominal contraction as you are about to make the scooping motion. A contraction is the tensing of muscles. An abdominal contraction resembles the same motion your abs make if they are about to be unexpectedly punched; your shoulders move a little forward as the abs are pushed against your back. Ultimately, the contraction should make your pelvis finish the scooping motion by delicately going upwards and back down to its original state. From a side view, the path of your pelvis should resemble the digit, "six."
For those looking for even more difficulty, let the quiver of the contraction be heard in the exhale breath. This sound can be quite sexual, for you can tie it to dirty talking concerning ejaculation. Even though all these movements are critical, you do not want to overdo the actions. You aren’t trying to get the attention of a plane. Keep it subtle or you’ll be doomed to the funky chicken dance.
You can also add other smaller body movements to the rhythm such as the arching of your neck, the closing of your eyes, and the clenching of your hand or the biting of your bottom lip.
Now that you should hopefully have awakened your partner’s libido, it is time to put on that final touch. Keep in mind the basic guidelines; like deep breaths and sounds, your words should also be in sync with the rhythm you have just created. The inhale breath should almost always be heard by your partner and you should speak in the "sexy voice" on the exhale breath. Enunciate all your words to your best degree.
To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: "you are so hot!" If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: "Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver." If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: "I’m so hard/wet right now."
However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word "because." You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: "You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible." You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, "You lying there naked," quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet" inhale "You’re irresistible." This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk.
Another added bonus of separating the sentence is that it allows you to think on the spot. You can simply state something with out wondering whether it’s long enough, or why you feel that way. State the phrase, breathe, and add to it.
To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. (Long inhale) "You just got out of the shower (couple of breaths), I just want to fuck you until you can't walk anymore (inhale), Cum/spray all over you (inhale) ... (quivering exhale/inhale), get you all dirty again."
After letting out some of your wants and desires, you may want to consider adding some more emphasis on certain subjects. One option is to add those initial sounds as previously mentioned. "Uh (inhale), I want to eat out your pussy/suck your dick (inhale), aah." Repetition is used to emphasize the importance of an action. "Pound me! (Long inhale). Come on (quick inhale), pound me! (Inhale), pound me harder!" You can also use adjectives and adverbs. "My nipples want your soft lips to slowly suck them and then bite them hard."
Using singular adjectives or adverbs can also be a relief from always hearing the combination of an adjective before a noun. Make sure to stress the last syllable in the word to create more of an impact. For example, the word "wet" should be pronounced as "wet-te." (Long inhale) "I love it when I/you push my/your cock so far into you/me (inhale), I feel it touching all your/my walls inside (inhale), warm (inhale), wet (inhale), moist (inhale), tight."
To avoid sounding redundant with vocabulary, attempt using metaphors, such as "I want to feel my/your essence leaking out of me." For a more aggressive touch, using cursing can be quite thrilling. Compare “You are such a great lay" to "Holy shit! You are such a great fucking lay!" Other examples are "Fucking bang me harder, bitch/bastard," "Fucking smack my God-damned ass," and "Jesus, it just feels so bloody good that I want to fucking cum all over you." Here you are able to speak louder because these phrases tend to be more aggressive.
Be sensitive to your partner's responses - some people may find it incredibly erotic (in the heat of the moment) to be referred to in an unusual (perhaps even degrading) way, such as a "my little whore" or "my dirty bastard", but others may be very offended. If you sense shock (or feel it yourself), then talk about it afterwards and re-assure each other that it is just 'play'. In any case (as with anything new) start off slowly, monitor the response - and adjust accordingly.
Role-playing can also be considered a section of dirty talk because even though you may be acting, there is massive dialogue. Role-playing basically concentrates on acting on your or your partner’s fantasies. This tends to be more difficult because you need to fully understand your fantasies by knowing the role of both you and your partner. For example, you need to know if your partner ought to be dumb, wild, shy, mean, etc. An easy angle to start with is the dominant and submissive roles. You choose one of these roles while your partner must choose the opposing role or vice versa. The dominant figure tends to be more aggressive in their wants and desires. They must take charge: command and demand. "I am going to handcuff you to the bed, and you better not squeal." "Spread your legs now!" There are two sides of being submissive: the willing and the refusing. As a willing figure, you may decide to either solely perform the actions or perform with the purpose of liking them.
If you are a refusing figure, you may decide to perform the commands while begging for mercy or perform after intense threats. In a case you are finding that your partner is having difficulty taking on the role of a dominant figure, you can then ask defiant questions. "What are you going to do if I refuse to even kiss you, never mind suck your cock / eat out your pussy?" If the dominant partner is still not responding, then you answer the questions. "Will he/she smack me, or pin me down?" Here the submissive partner is offering material that the dominant partner would hopefully be able to work with. There are many situations where dirty talking can be used in role playing: nurse and her not-so-sick patient, the student begging for a better grade, a master and his slave, Cleopatra seducing Caesar, popular cheerleader with the average guy, etc. Remember that the trick to having a great role-playing session is to act out exactly what you crave as long as it is to a safe degree.
It is absolutely necessary to practice dirty talking with a partner that you are comfortable with. This will allow you to say exactly what you are striving for and in the end satisfy your wants and needs. Everyone has the potential of being a great dirty talker as long as you remember to work with your own instincts and try to be as natural as possible. The techniques and tips here are not etched in stone so feel free to add your personal style to them and to focus on your partner's feedback. Please keep in mind that practice makes perfect and that variety is the spice of life.