I dont know what to do, my husband is funny and smart, and we are really best friends at heart. We get each other, theres nothing we cant talk about and actually fight very little. We're both easy going to the point where if the other really wants something the other will give in and for the moment let them have it. We have a 2 year old with the same temperament so things in our small new little family are usually very relaxed and easy going daily.
Heres my problem: Ive talked to my husband before about feeling like he has almost no sex drive, hes 34, (not slim like he was before in the past) and works quite a bit although he is hes own boss. Hes does stress over things so before i have contributed his no to no sex drive to that, but i still have a higher drive then he does (im 7 years younger) and ive resorted to buying myself a dildo which i use when he isnt around because i can hard ever get anything beyond light kissing and hugging/groping with him. He claims that its my fault because we dont go to bed at the same time but i have tried that and still he flips over and falls fast asleep.
Am i missing something here? we've been together for 13 years and married for 4 now. Hes swears up and down that my going to bed is the only thing that stands in the way of this issue but he still does not demonstrate any kind of sexual longing for me or looks the way he used to. Ill buy new hot outfits and i get a little more then a glance and a small comment about liking it but thats it!
Im not expecting him to behave like a 20 year old anymore, and i know that as the years go on obviously relationships relax and change, and you wont get AS MUCH of the "i want you now" looks, but GEEZ! i have to initiate everything almost everytime now.
does he have a low sex drive? are we so old now that hes just not that interested in sex with me anymore? i know the love is still very much THERE, but nothing physically is happening much anymore now. any thoughts??
what can i do to change things alittle?
i cant give bj's because i can barely swallow pills and i choke easily
i dont want him to go on me and hes totally OK with that anyway during sex
he doesnt like me to really even touch his penis when hes hard for some reason
hes not too much into foreplay which is kinda sad to me
Hes also gained some weight and says he "doesnt feel good about himself because of how he looks and thats why we dont do it that much" as he claims. He has a bit of a gut now, where as before he used to work out and lift weights. = /
I'd like to add that im also in the process of building my own version of the Sybian sex toy. I know my husband would be against it because of the usual "man" reasons of feeling not good enough, and/or not being included/being replaced. This is another issue i want him to be ok with if hes not going to give me enough sex to meet my needs but i dont know how to talk to him about this.
Is it worse to have something like a sybian toy, and never tell you spouse because you know how they'll react? or to have one and tell them your going to use it whenever you want, and have them feeling replaced or inadequate??
I love him so much but i just know he wont like what im doing, but i have needs too and when ive tried to initiate sex with him, i get turned away 90 percent of the time. how do i talk him through this? or should i just keep it to myself and never tell him i have one??
Posted: 04 Oct 23:46